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There is no shortage of strains on a marriage… financial worries, work commitments, child-rearing conflicts, and more. But nothing undermines the very foundation of a marriage like infidelity. A partnerss unfaithfulness causes devastating pain and disruption that cannot be easily overcome. Many married people who cheat have become dissatisfied with their own lives or with the current state of their relationship, but don’t necessarily want out. With time and a mutual commitment to rebuilding the relationship – and often with professional help – many relationsjhips can actually become stronger following infidelity.
There are many reasons for infidelity. Even the definition of what constitutes infidelity varies. An emotional attachment without physical intimacy – including an online or text relationship – may seem less threatening but can be more damaging than an affair based primarily on sex. “nfidelity can afflict happy relationships as well as troubled ones ..and while sex – or more accurately, the excitement and romance of a new relationship – is the driving factor in some cases, dissatisfaction with themselves or their lives is more often what drives the straying partner.
Whatever the motivation for infidelity, repairing the relationship after an affair comes to light is dependent on rebuilding trust. But before that process can begin, there must be clarity as to whether the couple is committed to the relationship. One or both partners may be ambivalent about wanting to stay. Often counseling is needed to help people sort out their feelings, which are likely to be confused and conflicted. But if the couple is resolved to work on their relationship, I can encourage them to work through a series of steps that will lead to forgiveness and the re-establishment of trust.